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Urban Tantra Massage


Soft Porn Addiction

Posted on 8 April, 2016 at 15:00

Soft Porn addictions.

Before I alienate any readers, I am firstly going to point out that this is my opinion and my perspective based on talking to men honestly about their porn use and considering the results of professional research. This writing is in no way meant to criticize or cast judgement.

Prior to the internet accessing Porn seemed to be a grubby pursuit based around sneaking peeks at `Dirty Mags’ even calling the magazines ‘Dirty’ casts a shadow of shame and titillation, woman in these magazines possibly considered bad, lose or immoral , an opinion shared by woman as well as men. Shadowy peep shows and men in Macs prowling seedy cinemas cast a looming shadow over our nation’s supressed sexual identity .

Big Fanfare, the internet ! and the historical sexualisation of woman and girls continued at a rapid rate, adverts look like soft porn , women become objectified at an alarming rate to the point where we are no longer conscious of the control and subliminal messages fed to us by TV adverts , Music Videos etc . Sex sells, but at the cost of desensitising us and further sexualisation and objectification of the female body to the point that woman are now held accountable for showing nipples in public to feed their babies. Women who show nipples on social media are censored, mens are not..this is where the hypocrisy of our society adds to the frustration of woman who want to re-claim the Goddess and the respect that encourages in us all.

The gratification porn provides is so easy, young boys must be terrified at the prospect of real life interactions and men in relationships can by-pass all the emotions associated with a deep connection. The ease at which porn is accessed feeds the hungry sexual energies which quell the fire. This pursuit can become addictive, providing instant pleasure until the next time and most men admit to their sexual urges as being disruptive and frustrating. Russell Brand recently posted a brutally honest blog about his thoughts on the porn industry and the struggles he had with sex addiction, and his realisation as a conscious man that his primal urges and porn use where causing him conflict to his spiritual growth and how he felt about women.



As a woman who is actively supporting men and woman to reconnect to themselves through Tantra massage I am asking them to consider a new way of connecting to and exploring sensuality and sexuality. The focus of arousal is the self and the deep connection to the inner self, the reminder that the body is capable of far more enjoyment and sexual freedom and release than ever considered

Porn asks us to contract and turn in on ourselves for pleasure, when our deepest primal urges naturally draw us to each other to explore expand and integrate our sensuality and passion .

There are a growing number of men of all ages who are feeling this disillusionment and detachment from their sexuality and have rediscovered themselves through the practice of tantra massage .

Porn has always been part of culture. Let us ask ourselves to be mindful of its purpose and what the habitual use of porn does to the real life relationships with ourselves and the women in our lives.



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1 Comment

Reply Sandeep
12:42 on 19 April, 2016 
Hi Charlotte , I went through your posts and let me congratulate you on some very spot on insights. Coming from a country which experienced a social devolution in how women are perceived by society, I am only too painfully aware of how hypocricy and double standards can ruin a society slowly from within. We Indians had a great culture once which produced kamasutra and also maharahinis (female yogis) who taught students and were highly regarded by Kings and Queens. But now sadly we are known more for banning erotic books and for rapes that shocked the world. I believe the perpetration of a wrong set of ideals ( objectification of women ) and repressive culture that taboos sex ( or even menstruation, for that matter ) has led to this. A sad state of affairs, overall. But hopefully with increasing levels of education and employment, maybe we can reverse this trend. PS - I say India, but observation is true for many other countries/cultures.